Grow in Kindess

Evidence shows us that our children grow and learn best when they feel emotionally safe and have a strong sense of belonging. Children's brains are better able to absorb and retain information when they have full access to their higher cognitive functioning brain (prefontal cortex). To be able to access this area of their brain, their emotional (limbic) or survival brain can't be over active. They need to feel calm and safe.

The same is true for us. We grow and learn best when we feel emotionally and physically safe. So what if we unashamedly and fiercely cheered ourselves on, celebrated the small wins, and removed that critical layer that doesn’t support our growth but only serves to reduce our self esteem and steal our joy?

When we over critique ourselves or when our criticism is overly harsh, we move away from our executive functioning cognitive brain (our learning brain) and instead trigger our nervous system and survival brain. This is not how we grow. So let go of the criticism. Replace it with the most ferocious self encouragement and praise. By doing so, we are supporting our brains and nervous system which in turn gives us a better chance at learning and growing.

I bet you’ll catch yourself smiling the next time you choose reckless praise over self criticism. It will feel weird to start with. That’s half the fun.