The 10 Non-negotiables of emotional wellness

From ten down to one these are my non-negotiables of mental, emotional and physical well-being. Number one may surprise you but there’s extensive research that shows this more than anything else determines the quality of your life and the longevity! 

Can’t do some of these right now because of the season of life you are in? Maybe you’re breastfeeding through the night. This is ok! We are unbelievably resilient and perfection is never the goal. Choose one for now and do that well, do it consistently and see how you feel. 

10 - Sunlight 

This affects our circadian rhythm, stress hormones, mood enhancing hormones and sleep! Huge huh? So get outside every opportunity you can. Take those sunglasses off in winter and let the mood altering rays pour into your eyes and on to your skin where possible in these cold temps. 

9 - Creative outlet/ play  Finding something you truly enjoy that will ideally lead you into that beautiful and powerful psychological state known as flow! The flow state is similar to the meditative state which we know has many benefits for the brain, enhances mood and reduces anxiety. You know if you have been in flow state when all distractions fade away, time stands still, you are completely present and absorbed by your current pursuit. If you have been experiencing particularly bad mental health which can be associated with persistent worries or a narrowed perspective, play may be what you need to help rewire your brain and light up some new pathways. Rock climbing, writing, painting, surfing… anything that brings you joy and allows you to escape those persistent thoughts and be utterly present. 

8 - Sleep We all know the science on sleep has been proven again and again to be so important for brain health, mood and physical well-being. Just as a lack of sleep is known to affect our long term health and memory. Sleep is a time for rejuvenation and healing. Just by getting off your screens and to bed 30 minutes earlier you may experience enormous benefits in your productivity, happiness and physical well-being. Maybe worth a try. 

7 - gratitude The neuroscience on true gratitude is profound and shouldn’t be underestimated. This isn’t toxic gratitude where we discount our true feelings but it is a slight mind shift where by practicing gratitude we experience the benefits that come with focusing on the good things we have in our relationships, our lives and ourselves. Brain imaging and research shows that our mood and sleep can improve and we can experience a reduction in physical pain and anxiety when practicing gratitude. A daily practice of writing down 3 things we’re grateful for is enough to bring these mood altering benefits into your life. 

6 - Exercise  Exercise is an absolute non-negotiable when trying to achieve emotional wellness.  The chemical and hormonal response to exercise supports mood, self esteem, hormone health and metabolic function. Exercise also has the benefit of reducing your biological age! So let’s get moving. Busy, tired? Try for 15 minutes of movement. It can be weights, high intensity intervals, yoga flow…anything as long as you are moving. We are not aiming for perfection. Just be consistent. Regularly get your 15 mins in and more when possible. 

5 - nutrition The gut talks to the brain! Unbelievable. Nutritional psychiatry is an emerging field that is producing incredible findings and nutrition is now being used as a treatment for many psychological disorders which shows the influence diet can have on our mood and emotional wellbeing. It is estimated that 90% of that feel good neurotransmitter, serotonin resides in the gut. When we eat, we are not just feeding ourselves but the trillions of microbes living in our gut. New research has drawn previously unknown links between these precious microbes and diseases such as obesity, arthritis and depression. Looking after these little guys can affect our overall health including our mood. Let’s not make this complicated, try to eat a variety of delicious whole foods where possible and reduce or eliminate processed foods and refined sugar - again perfection isn’t the goal. Food is food and one of life’s greatest pleasures. When eating, slow down, take a deep breath before starting, smile (even if it’s fake), this will aid your digestion. 

4 - Kind self talk Be your own greatest advocate. Your perspective is everything, it is your truth. Believe something about your self or your life and this will be your reality. Our brains cannot process and store all the information available to us so it filters this information based on what we consider important. Make your brain look for the positive by diligently choosing to believe good things about yourself and absolutely refuse to think mean or limiting thoughts about yourself. Become proficient at catching your thoughts and reframing them. This one habit could dramatically change how you feel emotionally and physically! 

3 - Boundaries   

We’ve all heard the stats on burn out, how hard burn out is to recover from and how hard it is to give from an empty tank. One way to prevent burnout and resentment forming is to learn to put strong and kind boundaries in place that protect you and your limits! When setting a boundary, don’t be ambiguous. Clear is kind and then respect your own boundary! Don’t be the first person to violate it. You can set boundaries around your space, your time, your energy and your body. They are there to allow you to feel safe, respected and so you have a place to rejuvenate. 

Don’t want to do something. Don’t do it. Don’t say sorry. Don’t say why. Give yourself permission to just say. “No I can’t do that thank you”. 

Worried that saying no will affect your ability to get a promotion or be liked? What if the opposite is true? What if by saying no, you gain your employers and friends respect? As we are authentic and honour ourselves, we show up in a way that demands respect. People trust us more when we are authentic and by giving from a full tank we are more productive and joyful in our work and interactions. 

2 - Acts of kindness While boundaries protect you from that dreaded burn out or feelings of resentment, genuine and joyful giving can have many benefits for your mood and self esteem. As long as we are not giving from an empty tank or from a place of obligation there is a strong correlation between acts of kindness and emotional well-being. Giving can give us purpose, create meaningful connections, produce oxytocin and move our perspective and focus from ourselves - huge for anyone experiencing any kind of depression and the narrowing of perspective that unfortunately comes with depression. Having a few bad days? Experiencing persistent negative thoughts? Try a simple act of kindness or find a cause that you care deeply about and see if you notice a change in your mood.  

1 - Quality relationships The quality of our relationships determines our happiness and interestingly can impact the longevity of our lives more than anything else. When we have positive face to face interactions, an abundance of neurotransmitters are released which supports our hormone health, mood and immune system. Isn’t this great news! Spending time with your favourite people is an investment in your health. If you are somewhat isolate or lonely, find a way to connect with people, this could improve your life experience more than anything else.